Recently I had the
opportunity to speak to a Cub Scout group, boys aged 10. Turns out their June
focus was learning about people with disabilities. For me this was the perfect venue – my love
for kids combined with my expert knowledge about being disabled.
With this age
group, I could see a clear struggle between what they were thinking and what
would be appropriate to ask and how to ask it.
The kids were predictably age-appropriate when they saw me for the first
time. Let’s face it – sitting in a
wheelchair and missing 3 limbs looks really
disabled to all people, especially a 10-year-old.
First of all, I
will say it again – kids are honest. Ten-year-olds
are just young enough to show their disbelief, trepidation, uncertainty, and
yes, even shock but old enough to know they must be polite. I could see the questions swirling in their
minds. Moments like these are so easy
for me. It is no challenge to guide kids
through this awkwardness and help them understand that their reactions and
questions are perfectly normal. I
explained that while I do have a different body and must do things differently,
I can still do lots of things. I am just
like them, just in a different body, not so mysterious at all. They were definitely surprised when they
learned that I went to college, learned how to drive and swim, got married, and
had a job. After a few minutes, they
relaxed and became much more engaging with me.
There was no need
for me to prepare for this meeting. I
didn’t have my usual public-speaking anxiety.
I knew the kids would lead the discussion, and I knew just how to get
them started. Taking some advantage of
the fact that I looked very disabled,
my first question to them was “What is the very first thing you think of when
you see a disabled person?” Quickly and
simultaneously, two of the boys asked, “How can we help them?” and “How do they
do things?” See?!! A perfectly effortless place for me to
start!!
I first quickly
dispelled the notion that disabled people inherently need help. I told them to treat disabled people just as
they would anyone else and never to just automatically assume that help was
needed. If someone needs help, they will
ask. Assuming that help is needed based
on looks alone is rude and demeaning.
Next I approached
the question, “How do they do things?” I
told them that disabled people are real people and that they are experts at
adapting. I explained using an example of
the meaning of adapt – like the blind not reading with their eyes but with
their fingers. The important thing is
that they can read. It would be wrong to
assume they couldn’t read just because they couldn’t see. Doing things differently might take longer to
do, but the disabled almost always find a way. While some things may look hard to able-bodied
people, many times, it’s not hard at all for the disabled person. The kids were noticeably surprised when I told
them all the things I could do, things that weren’t so hard at all for me. I explained that they should never make
assumptions about anyone ever based on how they look, no matter if they are
disabled or not. Slowly, their uneasiness
melted away and they began to understand that I was not that mysterious at all.
Kids are my favorite audience.
From this experience, I realized that my efforts are best focused on
the younger population because teaching them young is the best way for future
changes in adult behavior.
